Miracle acknowledged

i have been desperate lately---like days from homeless, and NO ONE took me seriously

one morning in my many arguements with the Almighty, I suggested that he could not possibly be real

After all my sister died earlier in the year and if anyone would want to help us it would be her---just for the bragging rights if for nothing else, and so far neither her, or mom or dad or any of my relatives had reached from the great beyond.

I posted my frustration and fears on another forum in a thread just for venting----not for finding answers just to get it off your chest

That same day an angel read my tirade---she sent me two months of rent so that we can get out from the pressure and back on our feet, The first months check came today---I have never been so humbled in my life, and never had a prayer answered so eloquently

I am sorry Almighty, and sorry sis that I doubted you---BRAG Away!!!

It Is Hard Sometimes...

To always have to struggle with any issue. I've worked hard all my life. Saved... and lost. Saved... and lost again. And again. But I keep pulling myself up by the bootstrap and still dream and hope that this time things will be better. I don't find it wrong to envy what other have or get so easy. Why? because that helps create hope and the desire to achieve things. But I know it is just as easy to give up and live in anguish and despair. Been there, done that many times. Yes, Ms. G. People can be mean and harsh... and yes, most of the time just people who have no common manners. And most of all they have never walked in your shoes. Oh, yes, they like to pass judgements.... but they are the one that say to the poor man ... go out and get a job. Even though the poor man has a job.... the rich don't want to pay him what he is worth so they keep him poor. This is a world of the haves and the have nots.

I know you aren't asking for that luxury vacation or fur coat. Just enough to have what you need to get by, go to the doctor, afford your medicines. That is what we all need. And Yes.... it is ok to to share your thoughts and hardship on your social media sites.... and those that comment negatively... are NOT FRIENDS or very good family members. And they probably have no clue what it is like to NOT HAVE.

This is the reason for this blog.... to vent. To scream. To let it all out without negative backlash. If you don't like it... GO AWAY. This blog is not for you!

Will I ever say anything RIght???

 hate that this has happened to us.  Hate that we have to think about everything we say to the nth degree before we even say anything..

Last night I made a comment on a media site that I was envious of others----what a maelstrom ensued after that, about how petty I am, how I should be grateful I can post at all, that others have far less then me, that all I do is moan and groan over my situation, other people can't pay their rent and we don't see them moaning and groaning the way you do---always trying to hawk your shawls and get other peoples money for yourself and then you have the nerve to say your envious.

You are right I am wrong!!! Does that make you feel better. I should have spelled it out. I am envious that you do have a job, that you can pay your bills and that you can walk,  and aren't disabled, that you have health insurance, that you actually have people who care and not denigrate you when you are already down, does any of that justify my statement at all.

Envy does not always imply material things. I HAVE plenty---I could be a millionaire and except for a few close friends and family never choose to travel because I don't really like to travel, especially since my mobility issues.

If I could HAVE anything it would be first and foremost, enough $$$ to pay our bills, health insurance, answers to my mobility issues and more time with my grandchildren.  The only THINGS I need are a new mattress and new sofa but they are a long way in coming, and the only travel I would really like is to see Debb in Alabama, and maybe a couple of days in the sun with hubby for our 40th anniversary, I don't think even these few wants are enough to warrant the abuse my message box took last night.

I really need to learn to go back to private diaries and keep my fingers off the social media keypads!

I So Agree Ms. G

People like that are like I said ...BULLIES. They have nothing better to do than mind everyone else's business but their own and they are not true friends. These are the people that I have decided are not worth my time and have even blocked them from my personal email as well as my FB page. I am not going to give them the satisfaction that they want any longer and neither should you. Because getting under your skin is what they thrive on.... once you ignore them! We will be two less friends on their getting shorter friend list.

I Will Never Understand

It has always amazed me that other people think that they have the right to tell you how you should live your life. Seems that they are the only people in the world that knows all that is right and all that is wrong. I've been told all my life that... you don't smile enough...so I smile...then I'm told you smile too much. You don't talk enough--you talk too much. You help too much--you don't help enough. So tell me...what is one to do? I try to do right by others and I'm constantly being told
that I am wrong... it gets old when you are told that some people just have low self esteem... well I say, grow the fuck up. I'm suppose to take your negative comments, but you can't handle it. I say you don't have a self esteem problem...YOU ARE A BULLY. Yes that is right. You are a bully and no longer worth my time and effort to care.

The Start of Something New

Today I decided to create a blog. One that I can post my rants and opinions on. I am so tired of people who dare tell you that your opinion is wrong. Wrong? WTF!!! Everyone has the right to their own opinion-- You just don't have to agree.

So my rant for today. When will I ever learn. You know I consider myself a Christian. But more and more I'm finding that so many so called Christians are not Christians at all. How can one call themselves that if say one thing but do another. Lie, steal, and think themselves so far above everyone else that only their opinion is correct.

I will not mention names or companies. But I have worked for four so called Christian based companies... only to get basically slapped in the face by reality. Hmmm, seems their God overlooks their faults by allowing them to put blame on everyone else but themselves. I guess you could call them narcissistic. Yes, that is it. That is the correct word to use for them. They and God are the only ones that know everything. HA!

I know, I am at fault as well. Gibb slap me in the back of the head for not learning and repeating the same reality over and over. But hey, not after this last time. There will be no more word of mouth agreements ... from NOW ON there will be a signed contract for all my future work. No more letting them get the best of me.

Ok, so this is my start of this blog. It is really here for me to vent. I am not a writer or a copy editor... so don't judge me.